I had a conversation with a close friend recently and we were talking about 9-5s, specifically how he was dissatisfied with his. Now, I am pretty bias on the subject of ditching your corporate 9-5 (since that’s what I did), so I couldn’t help but to engage in a long philosophical conversation on the topic of what a corporate 9-5 that doesn’t align with your values does to someone over time.
In my experience I’ve worked for two very large military defense contractors, both of which made me very confused whenever I would try to put logic into what I was doing. I just couldn’t see the reasons of why I was doing the things that were being asked of me, and most importantly the values of these companies I worked for were not in alignment with my own. I felt like I had to sacrifice what I believed in to work for these companies. Although it took me a while to realize and articulate that.
So, in this conversation with my friend the word purpose came up. He was questioning, shouldn’t there be a bigger purpose? What is all this for? For me, it came in the form of this repeating thought. I feel like there should be something more. That’s what I would always ask myself as I sat at my desk just watching the clock move slowly as I waited for the end of the day.
“I feel like there should be something more.”
When you do something for a long period of time, as in 40+ hours a week, and you have no purpose for what you are doing or you don’t believe in what you are doing, I think it affects you in a negative way. Or it at least did for me. It made me devalue myself. I think that doing something that you don’t believe in over a long period of time affects your self worth. Because you are basically telling yourself that your own thoughts and opinions are less important than those of the company you work for, or your boss, or your coworkers. I think self worth is something that a lot of people struggle with, and I believe it’s also tied with mental health. I think low self worth can compound onto someone who is already struggling with mental health.
There’s no questions that there is and has been a mental health crisis going on, at least in my country (USA), but probably all over the world. I think part of this has to do with people not being happy with what they are doing in their jobs and careers. I believe that humans need to have purpose, and if you don’t feel purpose with your work or in something else you do, it’s almost like what’s the point of living? When society tells you to go get a job, it never asks if you feel purpose in it. It only asks how much money it will make.
“Doing something you don’t believe in makes you have slow self worth”
So what’s my point?
Doing something you don’t feel purpose in I believe does something to you overtime. It makes you devalue yourself, it makes you think that what you are doing isn’t important, and it makes you think that you are not important. This is at least true for me and my experience in my corporate 9-5. I started not liking myself more and more.
Ever since I quit, I may not be making the same amount of money as I used to (yet), and yes health insurance is more of a pain in the ass, but one thing I can say is this. When I compare myself to who I was during my corporate career vs who I am now, I can say with 100% certainty that I love myself more than I ever have. I am more proud of myself than I ever have been, and even though I don’t have it all the way figured out, I am much more happy learning and taking the ups and downs than I ever was sitting behind a desk questioning what I was doing with my life. Now I know. I am doing what I believe in. And to me, that’s where I want to focus my energy on.
What about you? Does purpose matter to you? Leave a comment if this resonated with you.
Do what moves you,
-Gino
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